Bec Wilson answers: I’m worried I’ll lose myself in retirement

When I think about purpose in retirement, these are the things I come back to:  

1. First think about what your work does for you today  

What do you enjoy about it? Is there some stimulating problem solving, or a feeling of being useful? Maybe you’ve got a great group of friends at work, or you enjoy the rhythm of having somewhere to be each morning. Knowing what you’ll miss can give you a good place to start working out how else you might be able to replace those things.   

2. Build some structure before you lose it 

You don’t need every day of your retirement to be scheduled before you get there, but some anchors in your week or projects to focus on can make a huge difference in the first phase. Think about the things that will give you somewhere to be, people to see and something to work towards. It might be a regular gym session, a golf or tennis game on Wednesdays, an Italian lesson, joining a new club or tackling a project you’ve been talking about for years. The aim is not to fill every spare hour. It’s just to make sure that when work disappears your sense of purpose and structure doesn't disappear with it. 

3. Think about some things to keep you learning  

One of the things we often underestimate about work is how much it keeps our brains engaged. We’re solving problems, learning new things, and using our curiosity. And that can make us feel energised and engaged. 

So, think about what you’re curious about beyond your work. Not just hobbies you want to turn up for, but pursuits you want to keep learning and getting better and better at. You don’t have to become an expert, but it can be fun to invest in your skills all over again for the next phase of your life. 

4. Invest in finding your people - before you need them  

Work often gives you a ready-made social network - without having to really think about it. These are people to have coffee with, and people who ask how your weekend was. They’re also people who notice when you’re not there. And that type of everyday contact can disappear when you retire - almost overnight. 

Stop and consider who will be in your life when work isn’t the reason for social connection anymore. Which friendships do you want to invest more time and effort into? Are there old friendships you want to rekindle? And where could you meet new people who are interested in the same things you are? 

You don’t have to wait until you retire to start building the social life that will support you - start investing in those relationships and communities now.   

So where do you start?

Try my Tuesday Test, it’s a great place to start. Imagine it’s an ordinary Tuesday, six months after you’ve retired. You’re not on holiday and the family isn’t visiting. In fact, there’s nothing particularly special happening at all. It’s just an ordinary day in your new life. 

What time do you get up and what do you do in the morning? Where do you go? Who do you see? What are you learning or working on? And what are you looking forward to? And how does the afternoon and evening play out?

Then ask yourself - does that Tuesday feel like a life I’d enjoy living?

If it looks a little bit empty, that's useful information. You don’t need to wait for retirement to start adding people, interests, routines and pursuits to your life. Start now and the transition into retirement might be a little easier than you expect.